Coffee Blues

I am so bad at jokes, that the last time I attempted to tell one on Facebook, two people messaged me to ask if I was depressed.

Really!  I think that takes talent.

The original (and not that funny) joke:
Apparently, I can’t get addicted to coffee,  I guess I’ll just have to stick with chocolate, porn and Facebook.

The joke being that the only one I’m really addicted to is Facebook.

But then I realized that it probably wasn’t appropriate to jest about porn addictions since over half my ‘friends’ are church folk for whom this is a serious concern.

So I took out the second half of the sentence.  I still thought my failure to become addicted to coffee was amusing, since I’ve tried for a month and still can’t manage to drink a whole cup even once a week.

But then I thought I should give some context as to why I was trying to start a coffee habit in the first place.  So I referred to some recent studies talking about the long-term benefits like reduced Alzheimers, coronary heart disease, and depression in women.  Of course, correlations are not causations and I wanted to be responsible in sharing information, so I pointed out that it might not be the coffee causing those affects but another factor.

A few minutes later, I had several concerned messages.  One suggested I look into counselling and medication, and another told me that ‘helping others’ is a great way to not be sad.

The only thing sad is my ability to tell a joke.  

6 thoughts on “Coffee Blues

  1. TWF says:

    I thought it was funny. 🙂 But then, I’m an oddball. And I really don’t see how you get “depression” out of that! Do they think only depressed people are addicts about anything? Weird. :-p

  2. Zoe Bloomer says:

    Well I do have some serious depression that I deal with on and off and your joke was funny to me and elevated my endorphins. :mrgreen:

  3. D'Ma says:

    I don’t get depression out of any of that. And I thought your joke was funny. Probably only because I’m addicted to coffee. But I’m not depressed. Do you have to be depressed to be addicted to coffee? I’m screwed! 🙂

  4. Quince says:

    This is absolutely hilarious to me. I love the taste and flavour of a good cup of coffee, that is why I drink it. But I restrict it to one a day. If you’re just drinking what is akin to ‘church coffee’ or Tim Horton’s, you’re not going to get the health benefits and better off not drinking it at all (and probably why you’re not getting addicted lol)

  5. prairienymph says:

    🙂 I can see how the explanation I added referencing less depression in women who drink coffee followed by an admission that I ‘failed’ at getting a coffee addiction was interpreted by some people. The people who I am closer to understood what I was trying to say and maybe found it a little funny too.

    Quince- I think you’ve discovered my problem. I was trying to drink some ancient instant stuff I found in the freezer and just couldn’t do it.

  6. Quester says:

    The most important thing I know about telling jokes is: over half the jokes I tell will bomb. Related to that: almost half the things I say that people laugh at were not intended as jokes. I figure that so long as no one is hurt or horribly confused, I’ll leave well enough alone- not trying to explain either the joke or the lack thereof. This leaves me with a reputation for a very dry sense of humour.

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