“Did you see his new wife? She is young and always dresses like, well, lets just say she leaves little to the imagination.”
“Yeah, if he is after what I think he’s after, he should have married some sweet Midwest girl who dresses modestly and has enough left over for her husband when its just the two of them.”
I heard this conversation as a young child and unfortunately never forgot it. Since ‘Midwest girl’ is an American phrase so it was either Focus on the Family or one of our American travelling preachers.
The message was clear- a girl only has so much sexuality. If she uses it up in display, she won’t have any left for the bedroom. Therefore all women who dress provocatively are only compensating for a lack of real sexual desire. Like men who drive big trucks. People who don’t seem interested in sex really are more sexual than anyone else.
Well, I got that sexual desire was a good thing for married people. I sure didn’t want to use it up early and not have anything left over for when it was good. (How many testimonies did I hear of people who had sex before marriage and after marriage sex sucked but not in a good way?)
Yep, the way to be an everlasting spring of delight (in marriage) was to resist using up sexuality in frivolous things like make-up, flirting, or clothes that emphasized non-masculine curves. I really did look at my female classmates who displayed their sexuality as asexual. They’d used it all up.
The male equivalent of this was to not watch porn. They would use up all of their sexual energy watching someone else and then not have anything left over for their future wife.
But did those years of avoiding sexuality really bring up anyone’s sex drive? Dressing in unflattering clothes out of fear (as opposed to out of comfort) wasn’t really putting money in the marriage bank, was it? Do all those couples who like to watch porn together do it because they like to have less sexual desire for each other afterwards?
These are the same people that believe power is a zero sum game. In order for women to have more power, men have to give up theirs (and that is unacceptable). Don’t date until you’re ready to marry because if you give away your love to someone you won’t have as much left over for someone else. There is only so much marriage going around too, so if we give some of it to homosexuals then heterosexuals will lose some.