Pre-marriage Pressure

We recently painted the playroom/library.  In the process we discovered that even after purging boxes and boxes of bibles, bible commentaries, bible studies, apologetics, biographies, evangelism guidebooks, hymnals, and Christian fiction, we still had nearly a bookcase full.  We now have only one shelf of overtly Christian literature or books on the history of Christianity and which contains only 5 bibles.

One of the treasures we found was a “Marriage Counseling Questionnaire” that my lover had done with a church elder.  This contains such questions as:

18. To what degree have you talked about spiritual things?

very much      some     little    none

19. To what degree does your religious/spiritual upbringing affect you now?

very much    some    little    none

20. How important are spiritual matters to you now? 

very    somewhat   slight   not at all

28.  How do you feel about the sexual aspect of marriage?

eager    eager, but some apprehension    apprehensive    fearful

My lover’s answers were entertaining.

Under List in order of importance 5 things you are looking for in a mate, number 1 had similar interests crossed out and replaced with God.

Under List 3 things you are both interested in it said

each other

       being outside/exploring

       being silly and serving others together

but  God was squished on top of that as if it had been written after

He was actually dictating the answers and the elder was writing them down.  My lover admitted that he felt a lot of pressure from the elder he was doing this with to have the ‘right answer’.   I can imagine the elder leaning across the table and saying, “isn’t there something more important?” in a menacing voice until the right answer came up.

Of course, as evidenced by our bookcase, our ideas of god were a big part of our life.  We believed this belief was the biggest part and the only secret to a successful marriage.  I am happy to announce that we were wrong !

3 thoughts on “Pre-marriage Pressure

  1. prairienymph says:

    Of course, my favourite was question 35. If your fiance could change one thing in you, what do you think they would change?
    His answer: hair length.

  2. TWF says:

    “hair length”… You’ve got a wise man there! 🙂

    I never had to do one of these surveys, and had always wondered what they asked. Interesting stuff, and I have no doubt that there was pressure to give the “right” answer. 🙂

    I’m glad you’re enjoying the metamorphosis together! 😉

    • prairienymph says:

      I do 🙂
      Its kinda creepy that the elder filled out the survey for him. I at least got to fill out my own. And I don’t remember any of the uncomfortable questions about sex that were in there. I remember after the survey and ‘counselling’ feeling like marriage was an extremely difficult and painful journey and that we were somehow doomed. Then we talked to another couple and left with hope.

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