Little Activist

A while earlier Lil’T asked what a crush was and I told her it was when you liked someone so much you get butterflies in your stomach and you want to be with them all the time.  She then informed me that she had crushes on several people, including an aunt we’ll call Auntie Fun.

Auntie Fun flew out to spend a few days with us.  She is a fantastic auntie and both my kids are crazy about her.

When driving back from a picnic hike, Lil’T told us she was pretending Auntie Fun was her birth mom.  I was the birth mom of C-minor “in the game” but that Lil’T and C-minor were still sisters because Auntie Fun and I were married.

Then Lil’T reminded us loudly in case we forgot “because you can have two moms get married.”

I do not know exactly where Auntie Fun stands on homosexual rights, but I know where her parents stand and I know that they’ll hear about this.

It may seem little, but I am worried about the consequences for openly stating things we care about around these people.  Part of me, maybe the evangelical part that feels responsible to proselytize to the ignorant, wants to yell out:

I don’t believe in a god who orders genocide and has little regard for truth, women, children, non-chosen races or the world we live in.

I don’t support a church that teaches lies, obscures the truth and promotes hatred and intolerance.

I do support the human rights of all marginalized peoples, including respect and dignity. Ethnicity, class, gender, orientation, ability, size are what make us unique and beautiful, not defective.

Of course, merely saying something like “evolution is so fascinating” or “my friend just got engaged to her amazing girlfriend of 3 years” are not seen as positive affirmations of life by some people but as an aggressive attack.

I do not need to get in people’s faces and tell them what I am passionate about, even though I have been trained to.  However, I wish I did not feel like I need to hide those things around family.

Ironically, in hopes of a deferred nap-time, my kids are hiding in the closet right now.

 

8 thoughts on “Little Activist

  1. David says:

    there’s more wisdom in her words than most people would pick up on. Your kid has not been indoctrinated with the taboos of many in the society around her. There’s nothing wrong with her knowing that families can have two mommies or two daddies. If anything, it’s a perfect example of how our prejudices are learned behavior and we shouldn’t be passing them on to our kids. Let them figure out stuff for themselves, but be ready to answer questions when they do ask.

    • prairienymph says:

      I am proud of Lil’T but sad that in kindergarten she has already been in a few conflicts with other kids about whether two men or two women could marry. Its hard to see her coming home in tears but I’m glad she doesn’t back down.
      I am also worried to let her alone with some (not all) of her grandparents who would prefer her not to stand up for LGBT marriages who may take it on themselves to try and change her mind.

  2. David says:

    That is sad. Sad that all those other kids are already being infected with that prejudice. Sad that those parents don’t trust their kids to figure things out for themselves, or are afraid of what happens if they do. Sad that there are those within your own family who would fill her mind with the same bullshit and think it beneficial. And sad that at that age I would have been one of the kids she’d be arguing with.

    It would be heartbreaking to see your kid come home in tears from school, really for any reason. But it sounds like you’re doing a hell of a job raising her, keeping her mind open and it is good she values the importance of something like equal rights for everyone, and that she’s not picking up harmful prejudices, from what i hear. She’s lucky to have a mom like you.

  3. ignorantianescia says:

    “I don’t believe in a god who orders genocide and has little regard for truth, women, children, non-chosen races or the world we live in.

    I don’t support a church that teaches lies, obscures the truth and promotes hatred and intolerance.

    I do support the human rights of all marginalized peoples, including respect and dignity. Ethnicity, class, gender, orientation, ability, size are what make us unique and beautiful, not defective.”

    Amen to that.

    @David, I’m not sure how much indoctrination or infectation with prejudice is involved when several children think of it as, though. My country is pretty okay on LGBT rights (which are widely supported), but still many children think of it as abnormal. Maybe they just aren’t socialised enough into thinking of homosexuality and other alternative gender identities as normal, and only become socialised like that at a later age?

    • prairienymph says:

      Yes, it isn’t just a matter of letting kids figure things out by themselves. I think all kids go through a stage where they want to define things in simple black & white terms, about 2-4 years old. They have trouble with runners also being called shoes or jeans also being pants at the same time. They try and put gender into the same boxes as well: [long hair = girl = vulva = pink].

      Most of them go on to learn things can belong to more than one category at the same time and that categories can overlap instead of being exclusive. However, for gender/sex/sexuality, if we don’t allow them to see how they are complicated, some people stay at a toddler level of understanding even though the evidence is all around them. This permission has to be an active thing because there are forces in our society including fundy religions that actively suppress and shame this knowledge.

  4. David says:

    @ignorantianescia – where would a 5 year old child get the idea that homosexuals didn’t deserve the same rights heterosexuals do if they hadn’t heard it from adults in authority? We aren’t born with such prejudices. It doesn’t matter if they don’t think it’s normal or common, but if they think it’s okay.

  5. Nate says:

    Ironically, in hopes of a deferred nap-time, my kids are hiding in the closet right now.

    Hilarious!

    And I loved this:

    I don’t believe in a god who orders genocide and has little regard for truth, women, children, non-chosen races or the world we live in.

    I don’t support a church that teaches lies, obscures the truth and promotes hatred and intolerance.

    I do support the human rights of all marginalized peoples, including respect and dignity. Ethnicity, class, gender, orientation, ability, size are what make us unique and beautiful, not defective.

    And this:

    I do not need to get in people’s faces and tell them what I am passionate about, even though I have been trained to. However, I wish I did not feel like I need to hide those things around family.

    Yeah… why do things have to be so complicated? 😦

  6. David says:

    if only all people were as progressive and forward thinking…

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