Marriage and weddings seem to be a constant theme for Lil’T. She was playing marriage yesterday and looked a little sad.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Getting married,” she sighed.
“Do you want to get married?” I queried.
“No, but the prince really wants to.”
Where did that come from?
“Honey, you don’t have to get married if you don’t want to. And you don’t have to stay married if you don’t want to. A marriage needs two people.” I tried to explain.
“But, but the prince really really really wants to get married, so how can he get married if I don’t marry him?”
“No, darling, that is the point! No one can marry you if you don’t want to. He can marry someone else who wants to and if no one wants to, then too bad. Being married isn’t a need. There are lots of amazing people who never get married.” I say.
Later on, she watches me hug her daddy. Seizing a teachable moment, I say, “See, both your dad and I wanted to marry each other. ” (aww, we’re so cute)
Still, this does bother me. My 4 year old thinks that if a prince wants something from her, she must give it because he is a prince and he wants it? I hope that changes.
But it is human nature to want to give to someone what they want. Well, maybe not for everyone. The balance between helping other people and helping yourself can be tricky. Some people grow up with the idea that they exist to help other people. Some people have the idea that others exist to help them.
I hope her prince (or princess) isn’t one of them.