The following is a list of the articles of faith and teachings of G—- M—– Inc and my snarky comments :
1. We believe in the one true, almighty, eternal God: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, who are one. And, all male.
2. We believe that God is the creator and Lord of all things.
3. We believe that the Holy Bible is the divinely inspired word of God. It is without error in all its teachings, including creation, history, its own origins, and salvation. Which biblical creation account do they follow?
4. We believe that salvation from man’s sin and depravity requires forgiveness from God and the New Birth. This is obtained only through faith in Jesus Christ, God’s Son, and in His efficacious death on the cross of Calvary and His resurrection from the dead, without which one cannot see, nor enter the Kingdom of God. In direct contradiction to what Jesus said would allow people to enter the Kingdom of God.
5. A believer is called upon to live a holy and righteous life in harmony with the teachings of the Holy Bible, submitting to those in authority over him both spiritual and civil. Included in here must be the all-time favourite topic: headcoverings and the subordinate status of women! At least it doesn’t get a separate line.
6. A believer should be baptized in water, confirming his faith and obedience to the Lord. Especially if they are young, but not as infants.
7. Every believer should experience the infilling of the Holy Spirit with speaking in tongues. Every believer should receive gifts of the Spirit, as the Spirit of God wills, by the laying on of hands and prophecy; thus enabling him to enter into a Spiritual ministry. This will empower him to live a fruitful and godly life, full of good works, i.e. caring for the widow and the fatherless in their affliction, zealous in the witness of the gospel to every creature, and the fulfillment of his own personal ministry as a member of the one holy, universal church, which is the body of Christ. Yes, EVERY believer must speak in tongues and be prophesied over, or how else could a person be kind to the poor?
8. We believe that there is a life hereafter; Heaven for the righteous, Hell for the wicked and rebellious, God Himself being the only one who makes this judgement. But WE know what god thinks makes someone wicked.
9. We believe in the ever-unfolding revelation of Jesus Christ, His salvation and coming Kingdom, and His infinite, unfailing love for all mankind. “Ever-unfolding” so that we can excuse older teachings that are no longer tolerated by law – like telling a battered wife to submit until she is almost killed instead of escape the abuse.
10. We believe that Jesus Christ, in God’s appointed time, will return to the earth to raise the dead, judge and rule over the nations with His church, the body of Christ, in His everlasting Kingdom. Yay! We will rule over the nations too!
11. The central theme of the “Move of the Spirit” is the coming together of the body of Christ. As long as they follow our rules.
12. Such other revelation as brought by the Holy Spirit to the apostolic ministry may be added to the articles of faith and the statement of teachings of Global Missions from time to time, being confirmed by the Bible and all the Apostolic Elders. Chain of command very important for dismissing questions and observations from non-Apostolic Elders.
13. We believe in obeying the laws of the land, as we are instructed to do in the Holy Bible – ok, in select parts of the Holy Bible.
We also believe and teach the following concerning:
1. Racial Discrimination. We in no way endorse or excuse racial discrimination. 🙂
2. Homosexuality and Lesbianism. The lifestyles of the Homosexual and the Lesbian are practices that we do not condone and reject as they are rejected in the Bible. Although we don’t reject other practices that are rejected in the Bible – just that one and a few others we are personally terrified of.
3. Child and Spousal Abuse. No one has the right to abuse anyone, much less those who are as near and dear as one’s spouse or children. Finally! Too bad the bible doesn’t have any laws about this, good thing the revelations are ever-unfolding.
4. Sexual Abuse and Harassment. This behaviour must not be tolerated by anyone in any group, home or workplace. In the girls dorm they have a list of verses telling women to dress modestly – wish they’d told us not to tolerate abuse and harassment instead.
5. Abortion. We believe that abortion is murder; the killing of a person who has no ability to protect himself / herself. The only exception would be where the life of the mother is at risk. This is new? I didn’t know there was any debate on if it was better to let the mother die or live!
6. Divorce. Divorce is not in God’s plan for the human race. It is having a devastating effect on our society. No mention of what leads up to divorce. Would those things (untreated mental illness, addictions, abuse, and others) be less devestating? Divorce was in god’s plan for the Old Testament.
I knew our church had a statement of belief, but I hadn’t actually read it before. A church member recently wrote about how proud he was the this church added the last little bit. I’m sort of glad – at least it has a few things I agree with.
Makes me want to sing “Free at last, free at last!”