A childhood friend who used to go to the same church as I did called me up.
“You’re going to be so excited for me!” She gushed. “I’m called to be an evangelist!”
I didn’t know what to say.
She went on about how she had recently led a Hindi man to accept Christ and how she had gotten so many confirmations about her ‘calling’. She described a recent trip to the States and how she went door to door. She lamented about how “closed” the Californians were.
One of them had hurt her feelings deeply by asking if she was “one of those weird evangelist people”. I had forgotten how sensitive she is to rejection.
Then she started talking about her new church and all the things she was learning. Her spiritual life is growing and she is practicing her gifts. Such as evangelism.
Then she asked me how my spiritual life was going.
Truthfully I answered that it was great.
During the conversation I was feeding the kids supper and changing poopy diapers, and I hoped my silence and lack of enthusiasm wasn’t hurting her feelings too much.
I doubt this vulnerable individual who has been abused all her life is prepared to handle the rejections, insults, and door-slamming her new calling will bring. She is gifted when it comes to communicating with small children and non-verbal people, but does not pick up on social cues and norms of general society. She has left a home where her mother always told her what to do and how to do it and found a church that is doing the same thing.
She craves acceptance, direction, and black and white rules. Maybe her church is what she needs.
I’m not looking forward to our next conversation, although it may not happen for another year or so. Part of me really likes that she looks up to me and I know that will disappear when she finds out I’m not a Christian anymore. It will be good for both of us not to have me idolized though.
In the meantime, I hope she is ok and I’m glad she is feeling useful.