Certainty, Certainty, wherefore art thou?

Sometimes I really wish I could go back to the time when things were black and white, and every coincidence had eternal purpose.

Someone very close to me is in a potentially life-threatening situation. 

Either option for treatment she chooses will have serious outcomes.

I’m grateful for the people who are supporting us, with prayers and actions.  I’m wary of those who give all the glory to god for their kindness.  Actually, I resent that I need their help.  I am very grateful for the others who are kind just because it is the right thing to do.

For what purpose is her suffering? 

The answer “for god’s glory” makes me sick. 

The answer that this life is just practice for the next one is tantalizing.  While possible, its not certain.

The attitude associated with blaming fate seems too passive.

So, now I am confronted with my own mortality, helplessness and uncertainty.  And I have to face it.

9 thoughts on “Certainty, Certainty, wherefore art thou?

  1. Quester says:

    I hear you. I wish I still had my eternal certainties, sometimes. That I could trust everything is in the hands of someone who desires the best for us. I now think that the only purpose life has is whatever purpose we give it, and sometimes I can give personal hardship a purpose. But often I just wish I had a god to hand it all to.

  2. Ahab says:

    I wish you comfort and strength. It’s difficult to watch someone you care about face a life-threatening situation.

  3. Tanya and Lena sorted apples today. I didn’t help because I am not good at decisions :o). I think uncertainty is a family trait.
    I am trusting that everything will work out. Please keep me posted.

  4. I feel the same — that the reason “for god’s glory” is a sickening one. May you find the peace, strength, and comfort you need.

  5. Lorena says:

    Remember when they told you that the purpose of our trials and tribulations was to learn? That god had something to teach us?

    I find it interesting that even though I don’t think there is a god or that anybody is going to teach you anything, I still think you will learn, painfully so.

    I have no idea what you will learn, and I wish you didn’t have to. But when all is said and done, I would like to know what you learn, so I can learn, too.

    Sorry you’ve hit a rough patch. My thoughts are with you.

  6. dsholland says:

    Grief, sorrow, anguish and uncertainty are just as real as joy, happiness, contentment and peace. I believe it is a mistake to pretend to not to feel those emotions because we are taught we ought not. Over the years I have hated (fiercely and vehemently) God for things he has done or not done.

    He has never to my knowledge returned the favor (on the contrary He has Loved me back to Himself).

    People may say things that are true but only heighten despair. My experience that Hope helps may be one of those things. The other piece of that experience is that it cannot be forced, all we can do is exhaust our strength and fall on Him when nothing else is left.

    It isn’t black and white nor limited to the shades between. Its the full spectrum of life lived.

  7. D'Ma says:

    I’m sorry to hear you’re going through something so potentially devastating. My heart goes out to you. In times like these all those spiritual platitudes just seem so very inadequate whether or not you believe in a god. There’s nothing a person can say to make it go away or make it better. It is what it is and sometimes the best thing a person can do for you is just be there maybe not even saying anything at all.

    • prairienymph says:

      Thanks D’Ma. Things seem to be much better now. I guess we’ll wait until the next crisis 🙂

      DSH: I’m going to assume you mean some kind of comfort in your preaching about your god, and for that I’ll say thank-you.

      • David Holland says:

        Yes I did. I apologize for my insensitivity and thank you for your graciousness.

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