Uncontrollable? Why homosexuality is perceived as dangerous

The former church circles I come from have a fear of sexuality.  They see it as a bomb that will go off if not placed tightly in a safe box.

My mother is terrified that any male-female interaction that is not supervised will end in sex and destruction. 

One of my brothers hired another brother to be a nanny while his wife is on bedrest.  They have two small kids and my s-i-l is not allowed to pick them up.  My mother is horrified at the arrangement.    

Perhaps with some reason, another thing to be avoided at all costs is a one-to-one visit with a pastor.   Pastor’s wives are the default counsellors.  Except that they are viewed as not a real pastor and just second best. 

Our church believed itself superior because the correct procedure was for someone to speak with a group of elders.  I personally did not find being in a small room surrounded by group of elderly men a suitable place to discuss deep issues.   Especially when their main recommendation was to shut up and obey authority.

I think it is often a good idea to seek counsel from someone of your own gender because they can often relate to what you are going through.  I have also seen the broken hearts resulting from a youth leader who would frequently take the young women out for coffee as part of his “ministry”.   Especially  because only the unattached women were asked.

But, I think part of the problem is that every male-female encounter is assumed to have sexual potential barely under control, ready at any minute to explode. 

The more fundamentally religious one is, the greater this fear is.  To deal with it,  segregation, “modest dress” (for the females), and chaperones are employed.  Arranged marriages, while still common in many cultures, are  gaining favour among certain religious groups in North America.  Less extreme, but more common, are the groups that are often told it is “better to marry then to burn”.  Marrying young solves two problems: kids are more likely to be virgins if they are younger, and then they don’t have to be chaperoned on dates (or even go on dates).

I think that part of the fear of homosexuality comes from this idea that sex is inevitable.  If you aren’t safe among your own gender, you aren’t safe anywhere!  All the safe places like girls dorms or guys retreats are no longer safe.

In a culture that cannot imagine an encounter, let alone a friendship, with two people of other genders, free of sexual temptation, there is no place for homosexuality.  Otherwise, the whole world becomes a ticking sex bomb and there will be destruction everywhere!


2 thoughts on “Uncontrollable? Why homosexuality is perceived as dangerous

  1. Ahab says:

    Interesting. I hadn’t considered that angle.

  2. Generally speaking and based on my lay observations, the devoutly religious have the weirdest ideas about sex, the most issues when it comes to controlling their sexual urges, and the greatest tendency to be sexually abusive. The very behavior they vehemently condemn is often their own secret fetish.

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