How not to ask someone out

“Bob” was our code name for “.” at church camp.

One of our guy friends, hearing us whisper about Bob and giggle, assumed we were talking about him and demanded everyone call him Bob from that point on.  

This is a story about Bob 2. 

I was at church camp the week before I left to live in Mexico for a year.  The last night we had a teen bonfire.  I was walking back with some of my friends and Bob 2 and his friends.

He mumbled, “hey, do you want to go to McDonalds with me tomorrow?”

My friend blurted out, “Yeah!  I love McDonalds!”

Bob 2 paused and looked at me.  “Umm, do you want to go to McD’s with me?”

I knew he was asking me for a date.  My friend knew I knew.   

“Well, I don’t really like McDs but if everyone is going, I’ll go too.”  I was giving him an out- I didn’t want to say no in front of a group of people. 

He thought I didn’t get it.  He tried numerous ways of asking me to McDs.  I kept saying no, hoping he would get it.

Wonder of wonders, when I arrived at the girls dorm I was met my a horde of girls who already knew I had been asked out.  Church gossip is fast!

I assumed Bob2 was smart enough to know my answer.  He assumed I was too slow to understand I had been asked out. 

The next day he arranged for a group of girls to lure me into the potato storage room where they left and I was trapped.  Guess I wasn’t so smart after all.

He proceded to ask me out again. 

“You know I’m leaving in a few days for a year, right?”

Then the truth came out.  He wasn’t asking me to be his girlfriend because he liked me.  He wanted to protect me from obvious moral ruin.  It was his responsibility to ensure I was not tempted by any spicy Mexicans since I wasn’t strong enough to resist their charms on my own.  After all, Eve was decieved.

Needless to say, the answer was still no.

2 thoughts on “How not to ask someone out

  1. He wanted to ruin your whole trip to Mexico? How Christian of him.
    Old Neighbour: Will you go for a sleigh ride with me?
    Granny Clampet: Will you behave yourself?
    Old Neighbour: Of course.
    Granny Clampet: Well, what is the point of going then? (cackle cackle)

    • prairienymph says:

      Yeah, I guess he wanted the ‘right’ to police me, not date me.

      If I was going to allude to the bible when asking someone out, I would have at least picked a non-insulting passage!

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