The Talk(s)

My sex education was a little scanty.

Aside from reading books like Roots when in elementary school and taking sex ed in grades 7 and 8- I knew nothing about sex.  Sure I knew about STI’s and birth control, but our abstinence focused church groups figured the less we knew the safer we were.  The most information I got about the mechanics of sex was from a slide during Anatomy and Physiology 211.  When I got married I didn’t even know how a condom should be used. 

In India, the orphanage director gave me his version of ‘the talk’

“You Canadian girls shouldn’t marry and Indian boy.  Sex wouldn’t work because you take too long and we are fast here.  I think you Canadians take a week to warm up, right?  The honeymoon?  Here the man walks in the house and tells everyone to leave- they know why.  There, its over.  See, you should marry a Canadian.”

haha!  He didn’t understand we were joking about arranged marriages  and was sincerely trying to warn us.   I always wondered how people living in a one room house had so many kids.

Fast forward to a little before our wedding-

my mom:

“Oh no, don’t read about it- its so much more fun to discover things on your own.”

my married cousin:

“You need to get a brown towel for when you are having your period.  Yes, I know the bible says not to during that time but that was the old testament.”

my dad:

“So, you are getting married tomorrow and I don’t know if anyone has told you, but there are lots of fluids involved.  So you need to have a towel around or just a kleenex if you are using a condom. ”

And I always thought that giant box of kleenex in their room was for blowing noses.

My fiancée:

“Here, read this book”

That book was the most useful information of all.  And I just found out that my dad gave my tousle-haired-poet the book in the first place!   He either assumed that T-H-P would pass it on, or that I didn’t really need to know and T-H-P would teach me later.

I love books.

4 thoughts on “The Talk(s)

  1. Hilarious and all too frequently how it is. My mom made sure she subscribed to Chatelaine which back in the 50’s and early 60’s was a good magazine. I got my sex ed from articles in it and she knew it.

    I think sex ed should be taught in schools. Abstinence does NOT work and neither does ignorance, though religious organizations love to push that crap. Abstinence does not work because people don’t. Never have, never will. Ignorance causes pregnancy, STD’s and a host of other problems.

    Kids ought to learn about sexual relationships from watching their parents interact with each other; that sex is not dirty, not evil, not something to be never spoken about but natural, fun and part of a great marriage by how their parents act towards each other, how they speak about it etc. Unfortunately there are not many marriages like that.

  2. If sex is good it is about 20% of a marriage. If it is bad, about 80%. I can tell you with Tanya and I it is in the 20% bracket.

    I curse John Calvin and John Knox for ruining sex for so many couples over the centuries. Countries which never heard of them are far better off.

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