This is Your Brain on the Holy Spirit

Often I feel a little robotic and awkward.  But sometimes I can break free.

I remember wanting to be a dancer as a small child.  I danced everywhere until I was about 7.  Then somewhere I got the idea (maybe from my grandmother who gave up dancing when she became a Christian?) that dancing was inappropriate for non-heathens.  My body grew rigid and tense.  As a preteen, I went with another church group to a Christian rock concert.  Everyone else was dancing or swaying.  I felt stiff and rusty.  I couldn’t move gracefully and people pointed out to me several times since that my dancing was likely to hurt someone.

Then in Mexico, I joined Pentecostal churches.  I learned to let go.  I could feel the Holy Spirit moving through me and suddenly I could dance!  But only in church.  Proof for me that this was the Holy Spirit.  I felt like I had a different body (graceful) and a different brain (quiet) while I ‘let go’ and ‘let god’ move through me.  But it happened with other things too, not church related.

I almost always feel this way when I play sports, now that I’m not around my highschool sexist slut-shaming gym teacher.  Its how I am able to enjoy sex.   I feel this way sometimes when I paint.  My front brain fades and I zone into emotions, colours and shapes and when I wake up, I’m looking at something completely different than my usual style.

This is exactly how I learned to speak in tongues.  My first attempts to speak in the unknown languages were unsuccessful until I learned to shut down most of my brain.  I had to forcibly suppress thought and fade my frontal cortex into nothingness.   Apparently, I am not the only one to notice this downregulating of prefrontal cortex brain activity:

” Newberg, the director for the Center for Spirituality and the Mind at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, discovered that activity the frontal lobes decreased, including activity in the brain’s primary language processing centers: “Our finding of decreased activity in the frontal lobes during the practice of speaking in tongues is fascinating because these subjects truly believe that the spirit of God is moving through them and controlling them to speak. Our brain imaging research shows us that these subjects are not in control of the usual language centers during this activity, which is consistent with their description of a lack of intentional control while speaking in tongues.” “ http://brainblogger.com/2010/02/07/speaking-in-tongues-a-neural-snapshot/

That is my Holy Spirit- shutting down my rational brain and letting my limbic system take over.

btw- sometimes I still speak in tongues if I’m nervous about something.  Its one of many tricks I have of entering the ‘nothing box’ of not constantly thinking.

Buffered by Faith

I was recently talking to a couple who immigrated here from Eastern Europe.  They came to this city and are staying with people from the same church as a missionary couple they are friends with.  Since their arrival, the church and its people have bent over backwards and twisted inside out to accommodate them.
They have a free place to stay.  A woman who devotes her entire day to drive them to appointments and their 4 children to their various schools.  People are giving them nice fur coats and inviting them into their homes.  They speak about this couple with shining eyes and pray that they will be a blessing to them.  Most of the comments about them are a gushing “Aren’t they nIce?”.

Yeah, they better be.  Most immigrants have a rough go.  I’m glad they are being taken care of so well, but a bit annoyed that the Ivory Coast refugees who had weaker church connections weren’t also given the red carpet.  This new couple have both worked at prestigious jobs in their home country: law, film, bible school director, and their English is quite good.  They have a lot going for them.

Plus, they have faith.  I asked what sort of work they hoped to do here.  They had no idea, but were sure something divine would come up.  It was easy to see that their faith had helped give them the courage to move to a different climate and culture.  God’s will was clear- they had confidence.

I was wondering why I couldn’t have that sort of confidence when it came to chasing after my dreams.  My husband pointed out that I had never assumed that my wants were automatically God’s wants.  If I had, I would be behaving the same as this couple.  They wanted to do something and felt assured that God would grant them success and went running ahead.  I wanted to do something but was afraid that it wasn’t God’s will so it paralyzed me.   I was well aware that my thoughts came from my head.  This was why I couldn’t prophesy.

Oh well.  I hope this couple’s faith helps get them into good jobs.  Then, I hope they start thinking before their faith can hurt any of their children’s dreams.

If you had faith, was it the kind that allowed you to chase your dreams or the kind that made you question yourself and your abilities?

I left fundamentalism for moral reasons

I could no longer believe Christianity for no good reason when I found there were no good reasons for believing it.  That is why I say I left Christianity for intellectual reasons.  However, I left fundamentalism for moral reasons.

My morals and values were contradicted by some of the teachings of fundamentalist Christianity.

I value truth.  Fundamentalism values faith, which means that believing what you are told is seen as superior to finding out what is true.

Compassion is a large part of my moral compass which leads me to value other things like equality, no harm, fairness, protection and the value of life.  Fundamentalism says it believes in compassion, but compassion is to be sacrificed in the name of obedience.  Obedience to authority is a higher value in fundy religions.  Anything that disrupts the hierarchy is to be punished before compassion is allowed.  That means people cannot be valued equally as part of their moral framework no matter how much they say otherwise.

Fundamentalists are compassionate.  I was a fundy, I was compassionate.  I was most compassionate to people I didn’t view as enemy.  If a person was part of my group or seen as vulnerable I was allowed to show all compassionate I wanted.  If the person was seen as a threat, that fear often overrode my ability to be truly compassionate.  I could pity them, sure, but trying to empathize and understand was called weakness.

We were told ‘compassion’ and ‘love’ sometimes looked like abuse.  It could be the most loving thing to beat an uncompliant child so they would grow up to be compliant and docile.  It could be the most compassionate thing to wipe out an entire nation.  It was more loving to tell LGBTI youth they would go to hell if they didn’t behave hetero- or asexually, to hell with their mental health or love of their life.  Compassion and love were twisted and made subservient to obedience to law or the fundy god’s morality of punishment.

Those values, truth and compassion, lead me out of fundamentalism.  It hurt me to see how women and queer people were treated, how people in other cultures were treated, how the environment was treated and how it was justified as righteous and moral.    Abuse was called love if it promoted the hierarchy.  Lies were called truth for the same reason.  That is because the fear of authority is the moral compass of the fundamentalist ideology.

I didn’t leave because I wanted to sin.  I left because I was too moral and too honest to stay in a world that values obedience over love and blind trust over truth.

I’m not perfect.  This isn’t a black and white transition.  I grew up in a sexist, homophobic, racist world and all of those fears exist in the broader society as well.  Compassion and value for truth do exist in fundamentalist circles, but they are constantly beat down by other harmful values.   There are liberal Christians still going to my old church who follow their own moral compass despite being told obedience and fear is superior.

As non-fundys, we (secular or religious) humanists  really do have a higher morality to offer and that is the truth.

X(tian)-Men

Our church taught us that we all had super powers.  Nine super powers, to be exact.  These were called “The Nine Gifts of the Holy Spirit” and were imparted to us by “the laying on of hands of the elders”.  Of course, some people could operate them before the mystical men touched them and murmured words over them in the special coming-of-age ceremony.

This ceremony is especially important in these near-end times.  We need as many mutants as possible to win the war.

These super-powers are taken from 1 Corinthians 12:

Knowledge gifts

    1. The gift of wisdom, verse 8
    2. The gift of knowledge, verse 8
    3. The gift of discernment, verse 10

Power gifts

    4. The gift of faith, verse 9

    5. The gift of healing, verse 9
    6. The gift of working of miracles, 9

Utterance gifts

    7. The gift of prophecy, verse 10

    8. The gift of tongues, verse 10
    9. The gift of the interpretation of tongues, verse 10

(Aside: I do think some people are naturally wise, intuitive or good with languages.)

Our church loosed mostly teens empowered with their new gifts.  Holy Spirit power.

Everyone was given the gift of prophesy.  Church meetings would dissolve into a super-power display.  I think extra points were given per misuse of King Jame’s English and the syllable Ah.  It was like our tattoo, marking those who belonged.

Faith was another popular power.  This one is used mostly on Facebook where people encourage all their friends to have faith.  It is also popular in kid movies about fairies and witches.  Deviant super-powers at work.

I never met anyone with the miracle superpower.  That didn’t stop the faith power people from declaring events they liked to be miracles.  It also didn’t stop us from all wanting that power.  Oh the possibilities…

I was a healer power.  This meant I was expected to put my hands on people if they were sick.  I liked this one, since I am a touchy-huggy person.   I used to imagine once this superpower got really strong I could walk into a hospital, unleash the power, and bam!  Yep, I could eliminate the national debt over health care costs, although without birth control this one might be more fatal.   Basically, I went around hugging people and giving back massages.   Somehow, my supernatural powers couldn’t match the massage therapists’.

A friend of mine was told he had the gift of discernment.  He promptly went around reading people’s minds.  He did this to me on occasion and even once got a church authority involved over my supposed questionable motives in being nice to someone.  His revelations of what I was thinking not once matched what I actually thought but did give me insights into his mind.  Of course, would he believe me when I corrected him?  Who was he going to believe, fallible me or God?

“God told me what you are thinking, I don’t know why He forgot to tell you”

Like the other X-men, we were a subgroup, distinct from mere humans.  While some were Purifiers, most of us weren’t that afraid of the society around us but we knew we had extra powers and special responsibilities.  We were in a war, after all.

 

From Cowardice to Courage: A story of a rumor

This is a story of a rumor hopefully made right.

A few years ago a leader at my church told me that someone I knew had been sexually assaulted as a teenager.

I asked her about it and she brushed it off, saying it was nothing.  Since this person has a habit of downplaying anything to do with herself, this did not reassure me but in fact alarmed me.  I was worried that this lovely woman had been hurt and never healed.

Bit by bit, I put more information together.  It appears that other people knew things and wouldn’t talk about it directly but now that I had some knowledge, I could see what they were speaking about.

I learned that this woman’s father had known about the assault and not only chosen to do nothing but counselled his daughter to say nothing about it.

Understandably, I was angry at this.  I felt that the father had betrayed his daughter and perhaps other family members whom I knew had also come into contact with the perpetrator.  The father is also a leader in our church.  It has affected my relationship with him due not only to a loss of respect but a feeling of loss of safety for me and my two girls.

I know that I ranted about this online somewhere.  I don’t remember if it was on this blog, or in a comment on someone else’s blog. While the information was partially correct, I had the wrong impression of the character of the father and was passing that along.  For that I apologize.

I wasn’t misinformed, but I was under-informed.  That was enough however to malign someone’s character.

The father did indeed know about the assault and counsel his daughter not to mention it to certain family members.  However, he did not find out until she was in her 30s, two decades after the incident.   She had handled the situation quite well as a teenager and was no longer bothered by the incident.   The perpetrator was no longer in a position to hurt people so easily.  The silence requested was to protect other family members from feeling unnecessary pain.

The father would have done something if he had known.  I was unaware that this quiet man had spoken up several times on behalf of others at personal cost.  In one of those incidents, a neighbour was sexually abusing his mentally challenged hired help.  The father in fact confronted the abuser.

Please let me put that rumor  of the apathetic father to rest and resurrect his true character which does include both courage and compassion.  If this has affected your perceptions of anyone, I apologize.  If you think you know who I am talking about, ask me to email you in the comments section and I will answer your questions in private.

There is still one thing that bothers me.  The daughter had told two church leaders about the assault in confidence.   The man who informed me about it was not one that she told.  I wonder how many confessions I have made in confidence are also being passed around.  For my own good, I suppose :p

Church Camp Blues

I have this recurring dream that I am at church camp.  I can feel something bad is coming.  Sometimes it is a hurricane, or giant robotic man-eating insects, or just a dark shadow.  It is coming and I need to get out.  I try and rescue my kids,my family and my friends.  Finally I know I have to leave without some of them.  Usually then dramatic heroics happen and I get to do car stunts I’ve never even seen on movies.  Is this about me having a saviour complex?   Maybe.  But strangely I still miss church camp.

Last week was our church’s biggest annual family camp.   About 700 people spend their vacations travelling to a semi-rural campground that was once an aircraft training compound.  People come from India, South America, all corners of the US and  Canada too.   This was our yearly vacation, as it was for many families.  A few times we went to a smaller camp in the US.

After breakfast, there was church until lunch.  After lunch there was Children’s Church and Young People’s.  Then there was supper.  Then church until almost curfew.  In between was some time to play sports or visit, unless you were working since all the meals were done by volunteers.  In order to get more out of church and ‘fellowship’ we weren’t supposed to use cell phones, computers, watch TV or even listen to the radio.  If it was a youth camp we were supposed to get permission from the elders to leave the grounds.  I know I wasn’t the only girl to have to ask a crotchety old man who loved to preach on the sins of female flesh permission to go buy extra pads or tampons.  I also wasn’t the only one to run away without permission.

Church was long.  Hours long.  Sometimes 4 hours long.  The preachers weren’t trained orators and one of my favourites mumbled so much I could only understand every 3rd word.  Not exaggerating.    Some had accents so strong we weren’t sure what language they were actually speaking.  The music dragged, with the front third of the church always a word or two ahead of the back half.

And I miss it.

I miss it because it was a familiar tradition.  We never missed July church camp.  Aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents would be there.  People were there who cared about us.  Sleep deprivation made everything seem louder and more important.   We were a small, tight-knit community pulled together by how few there was of us.  Prophesies about how we were a First Fruits company helped unite us too.  But I do miss the community.  I am the third generation of my family to be involved.  As a third  generation Canadian, that is a lot of my history.

There was a feeling of safety on the grounds.  This may have been rooted in naivety.  After all, a friend has the same feeling when in small towns, never mind that his wife was raped as a child in a small town.  But regardless of reality, the camp felt sacred.   I used to want to get married there.  Of course, my wedding plans included a weiner roast and blob tag.  (I’m not a stereotypical romantic.)

Now that the illusion has been shattered, I wonder what it is that I miss.

I miss the illusion

of safety

and superiority : that I belonged to a special group that had a special revelation from the Divine which would change the universe.

I miss the illusion that I belonged.

 

Its still a wonderful group of people.  But when I think of bringing my daughters there, I get a sick feeling in my gut.  Once upon a time I didn’t think I could live without camp.  Now I don’t think I could live with it.

Confessions for Revival

When I was still involved in my church, we were always preparing for a revival.  An elder, also an engineer, had read enough about revivals to feel he had figured out the formula.  Here is the simplistic version:

Prayer + Public confessions of sins = Outpouring of the Holy Spirit (as evidenced by healings, restored relationships, and hundreds of new believers joining the church)

He was sure that we’d had enough years of prayer.  Since we were on the third generation of The Move, that gave us about 60 years worth.

It was time for confession of sins.

Easily guilted, I volunteered to confess to the congregation a horrible, secret sin.  I called it “intellectual arrogance” which sounded absolutely horrible.  In reality, what I meant was not that I was conceited about my cognitive abilities, but that I

1) wanted people to think I was smart (I like smart people, I wanted them to like me)

2) wanted to understand things and didn’t like being told that I should accept contradictory, irrational or immoral things because I wasn’t capable of understanding ‘god’s mysterious ways

3) sometimes didn’t do things because I was afraid of failing

When explaining the depths of my sin, I didn’t use these exact words since we were never allowed to use the word immoral in reference to god.  I doubt anyone heard anything after the phrase ‘intellectual arrogance’ since I knew an entire row of people had expressed their belief that higher education makes people arrogant and stupid.

I do regret it now.  Not because I could easily be labeled as conceited, but because I may have discouraged people from thinking.  A friend who was studying for his doctorate in English whispered to me that I had apologized for ‘sins’ that he ‘struggled’ with.  What would all of the teenagers and kids think to hear thinking confessed as a sin?  Probably the same things I thought when I heard it, as our flawed human mind was a common topic for promoting blind faith.

The first part of my sin, wanting people to think I was smart, I can now laugh at.  How many people would confess to the sin of wearing mascara because they wanted their eyes to appear larger?  Or how many people wash with scented soap because they want people to think they smell nice?  Its ok.

The second part angers me.  I let myself be manipulated into feeling bad for wanting to understand something.  I forgive myself.  I was brought up hearing this, as were the ones who preached it.

I now see that the third part of my confession had nothing to do with wanting to understand things, but actually kept me from trying to discover things.

To rephrase: I profess to having that wonderful human trait of curiosity, morals and common sense; I profess to liking smart people and wanting to be smart; and I admit to being afraid to fail but willing to anyways.

According to the formula, we need a few more confessions before a revival can start.  hint, hint

 

Holy Ghost Train

When my husband was living in a northern woodland town, the young adults group went on a night adventure to see the Ghost Train.  The story told is that a train conductor rides a ghost train up and down the abandoned tracks holding a lantern.  He is looking for his decapitated head.  My husband appreciates a good campfire tale but was surprised that the young adults group actually believed it.

The group went out in the night into the woods until they got to the spot.  Sure enough, wavering lights appeared.

My husband’s first thought was that he could see lights from highway traffic.  However, many people, including scientists, had gone out on the nearby highways nearby to test this theory, but the roads were at too low an elevation for light to travel to the ghost sighting spot.  For most of the town’s residence that was proof that something supernatural had appeared.

Finally, two highschool girls set out to discover what was causing the mysterious intermittent lights.  Using topographical maps, compasses, a GPS and a flashlight, they determined the exact location of the light.  However, it seemed impossible.  There were no roads close to the direction of the light at the correct elevation.  There was a highway nearly 9 km that matched the exact trajectory but it was much too far to produce a light so big on its own.

That was their answer.  The highway was receiving other help to enlarge the lights.  Somehow the trees blocking the view from the highway to the Ghost Train viewing spot grew in the right places to produce diffraction.  This makes the small lights appear much bigger than they would otherwise be.

One of the girls was disappointed there was no supernatural explanation and said it wouldn’t be as much fun to see anymore.  The other was delighted- not that there was no supernatural explanation, but that the real reason was so fascinating: ”If I had heard there’s this really neat phenomenon with light waves, I’d be more inclined to want to see it than a ghost train,” she said.

http://www.virtualsk.com/current_issue/mystery.html

You can watch the phenomenon for yourself here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYlWGbm-OtY

The comments on the video are interesting. About half of the people refuse to believe that diffraction can cause lights nearly 9 km away to look so large, yet are quite happy to believe that a headless ghost rides on a removed train track or some similar story.

How similar to many aspects of religion.  There are blinking lights that are beautiful and seemingly impossible.  People see visions that come to pass.  People do get flashbacks of events they did not see.  People are healed.

Just because I do not understand these events does not mean I have to deny them.  I can just not understand them.  I am sure the real explanation is much more beautiful and awe-inspiring than anything religion has yet come up with.  The high school girls devoted a lot of time to their experiment.  They also had tools like maps and a GPS to help them navigate.  We may never develop the tools to measure what some people call spiritual consciousness and it will certainly take more time than this mystery.

I’m off the Holy Ghost Train, but that has added to the wonder and mystery of life.  Maybe one day we will have better explanations for the mysterious so-called supernatural phenomena.  Until then, I am content to not know and maybe discover that I am wrong about other headless ghost train stories in different disguises.

Head Coverings in Church History

A handy reference for all you people who want to know why Christians throughout history have required women to cover their heads.

A. Reasons given by Church leaders in Church History (all men) why women in the church should wear a head covering:

1.Because the Apostle Paul said so.

2. Modesty/Civil & Natural Decency

3. Slippery Slope

4. Because the Laws of Nature Dictate

5. As a symbol Subjection/Subservience/Dependence/Inferiority (To Men)

Since Paul used woman’s inferiority as his justification, number one is also number 5.

Since the slippery slope argument argues that uncovering a woman’s hair will lead to uncovering her breasts, this is only a problem is one thinks that women’s hair or breasts should not be seen. That is the same as modesty in number 2.

Modesty and Decency arguments claim that what is decent for men is indecent for women- it is based on visible differentiation based on sex which is the claim of number 4- that men and women should dress in a way that leaves no doubt that a person belongs to one group or the other.

Different head-gear is not only a sign of different genitalia, but of different roles assigned to those genders. In each of these quotes, it is obvious that the female role is inferior. Thus, numbers 1, 2, 3, and 4 all end on number 5: head-coverings are a symbol of female inferiority.

 

Church leaders who supported the above reasons:

 

1. Because the Apostle Paul said so.

 

1. Tertullian (150-225 a.d.)
2. Jerome (345-429 a.d.)
3. Augustine (354-430 a.d.)
4. John Knox (1505-1572)
5. John Calvin (1509-1564)

 

 

2. Modesty/Civil & Natural Decency

 

1. Clement of Alexandria (153-217 a.d.)
2. John Calvin (1509-1564)
3. George Gillespie (1613-1648)
4. Matthew Henry (in his Commentary on the Whole Bible, published in 1706)
5. Henry Alford (1810-1871)
6. Robert Lewis Dabney (1820-1898)
7. A. R. Fausset (1821-1910)

 

 

3. Slippery Slope

 

1. John Calvin (1509-1564)

    

 

4. Because the Laws of Nature Dictate

 

1. John Chrysostom (340-407 a.d.)
2. A. R. Fausset (1821-1910)
3. Thomas Charles Edwards (A Commentary on the First Epistle to the Corinthians was published in 1885)
4. John Murray (1898-1975)

 

 

5. As a symbol Subjection/Subserviance/Dependence/Inferiority (To Men)

 

1. John Chrysostom (340-407 a.d.)
2. John Knox (1505-1572)
3. A Group of Presbyterian Ministers from London during the time of the Westminster Assembly (1646)
4. Matthew Henry (in his Commentary on the Whole Bible, published in 1706)
5. Henry Alford (1810-1871)
6. Frederick Godet (1812-1900)
7. Robert Lewis Dabney (1820-1898)
8. A. R. Fausset (1821-1910)
9. Thomas Charles Edwards (A Commentary on the First Epistle to the Corinthians was published in 1885)

  

 

 

 

 

References for Section A - Quotes From Church Leaders

 

1.1 In commenting on 1 Corinthians 11:4,5, Tertullian notes, “Behold two diverse names, Man and Woman ‘every one’ in each case: two laws, mutually distinctive; on the one hand (a law) of veiling, on the other (a law) of baring.”7

 7. Tertullian, On The Veiling Of Virgins, cited in The Ante-Nicene Fathers,  A. Cleveland Cox, ed., (U.S. A.: The Christian Literature Publishing Co., 1885 ), IV:32. Emphasis his. http://www.users.on.net/~joeflorence/hc.htm

 

1.2 “It is usual in the monasteries of Egypt and Syria for virgins and widows who have vowed themselves to God and have renounced the world and have trodden under foot its pleasures, to ask the mothers of their communities to cut their hair; not that afterwards they go about with heads uncovered in defiance of the apostles command” [1 Corinthians 11:5].12

 12. Jerome, Letter CXLVII:5, cited in The Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, 

Philip Schaff, ed., (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans Publishing Co.), VI:292.

 

1.3 “We ought not therefore so to understand that made in the image of the Supreme Trinity, that is, in the image of God, as that same image should be understood to be in three human beings; specially when the apostle says that the man is the image of God, and on that account removes the covering from his head, which he warns the woman to use, speaking thus: ‘For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of the man.’”14 

14. Augustine, Of the Work of Monks, cited in The Nicene and Post-Nicene
Fathers, Philip Schaff, ed., (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans Publishing Co.), III:158.

 1.4 See 5.1

 1.5 See 2.2.

 2.1 “And she will never fall, who puts before her eyes modesty, and her shawl; nor will she invite another to fall into sin by uncovering her face. For this is the wish of the Word, since it is becoming for her to pray veiled” [1 Corinthians 11:5 GLP].8 

8. Clement of Alexandria, The Instructor, cited in The Ante-Nicene Fathers,
A. Cleveland Cox, ed., (U.S.A: The Christian Literature Publishing Co.,
1885), II:290.http://www.users.on.net/~joeflorence/hc.htm

 

2.2 “When he says ‘her hair is for a covering [1 Corinthians 11:15 GLP],’ he does not mean that as long as a woman has hair, that should be enough for her. He rather teaches that our Lord is giving a directive that He desires to have observed and maintained. If a woman has long hair, this is equivalent to saying to her, ‘Use your head covering, use your hat, use your hood; do not expose yourself in that way!”18

 18. Seth Skolnitsky, trans., Men, Women and Order in the Church: Three Sermons by John Calvin, (Dallas, TX: Presbyterian Heritage Publications, 1992), p. 53.

 http://www.users.on.net/~joeflorence/hc.htm
2.3 ‘That women which show themselves in public and ecclesiastical assemblies, without the sign nd token of their subjection, that is to say, uncovered, shame themselves.’”19

 19. George Gillespie, “A Treatise of Miscellany Questions,” The Works of George Gillespie, Edmonton,AB: Still Waters Revival Books, [1846] 1991), II:32.

 “As for the veils wherewith the Apostle would have women covered whilst they were praying (that is, in their hearts following the public and common prayer), or prophesying (that is, singing, 1 Sam. 10:10; 1 Chron. 25:1), they are worthy to be covered with shame as with a garment who allege this example for sacred significant ceremonies of human institution. This covering was a moral sign for that comely and orderly distinction of men and women which civil decency required in all their meetings. . . .”

 George Gillespie, A Dispute Against The English Poish Ceremonies Obtruded On The Church Of Scotland, (Dallas, TX: Naphtali Press, [1844] 1993), p. 254. http://www.users.on.net/~joeflorence/hc.htm

 

2.4 “It was the common usage of the churches for women to appear in public assemblies, and join in public worship, veiled; and it was manifestly decent that they should do so. Those must be very contentious indeed who would quarrel with this, or lay it aside” [1 Corinthians 11:16].24 

24. Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible, (McLean, VA: MacDonald Publishing Co.), VI:562.

 

2.5 See 5.5.

 

2.6 See 5.7.

 

2.7 See 5.8.

 

3.1 The great theologian of the Reformation preached three sermons from 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 from which the following excerpts are taken. “So if women are thus permitted to have their heads uncovered and to show their hair, they will eventually be allowed to expose their entire breasts, and they will come to make their exhibitions as if it were a tavern show; they will become so brazen that modesty and shame will be no more; in short they will forget the duty of nature. . . . So, when it is permissible for the women to uncover their heads, one will say, ‘Well, what harm in uncovering the stomach also?’ And then after that one will plead [for] something else: ‘Now if the women go bareheaded, why not also [bare] this and [bare] that?’ Then the men, for their part, will break loose too. In short, there will be no decency left, unless people contain themselves and respect what is proper and fitting, so as not to go headlong overboard.”17

 17. Seth Skolnitsky, trans., Men, Women and Order in the Church: Three Sermons by John Calvin, (Dallas, TX: Presbyterian Heritage Publications, 1992), pp. 12,13.

 

4.1 “And if it be given her for a covering,’ say you, ‘wherefore need she add another covering?’ That not nature only, but also her own will may have part in her acknowledgment of subjection. For that thou oughtest to be covered nature herself by anticipation enacted a law. Add now, I pray, thine own part also, that thou mayest not seem to subvert the very laws of nature; a proof of most insolent rashness, to buffet not only with us, but with nature also.”11 

11. Chrysostom, Homily XXVI:2; cited in The Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, Philip Schaff, ed., (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans Publishing Co.), XIII:154.

 http://www.users.on.net/~joeflorence/hc.htm

 

 4.2 See 5.8. 

 

4.3 See 5.9.

 

4.4 “Since Paul appeals to the order of creation (Vss. 3b, vss 7ff), it is totally indefensible to suppose that what is in view and enjoined had only local or temporary relevance. The ordinance of creation is universally and perpetually applicable, as also are the implications for conduct arising therefrom.”46

 46. John Murray, A Letter To The Evangelical Presbyterian Church (Australia), Presbyteran Reformed Magazine, (Winter 1992).http://www.users.on.net/~joeflorence/hc.htm

 

5.1 See 4.1.

 

5.2 “First, I say, the woman in her greatest perfection was made to serve and obey man, not to rule and command him. As saint Paule doth reason in these wordes: ‘Man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. And man was created for the cause of the woman, but the woman for the cause of man; and therfore oght the woman to have a power upon her head,’ (that is, a coverture in signe of subjection).”15

 

15. John Knox, “The First Blast Of The Trumpet Against The Monstrous Regiment Of Women,” Works of John Knox, David Laing, ed. (Edinburgh: Printed For The Bannatyne Club), IV:377. The antequated spelling of some of the words in this quote is taken directly from the text used.

 http://www.users.on.net/~joeflorence/hc.htm

 

 5.3 “The wife must have power (exousia) on her head, i.e., a veil is token of her husband’s power over her (1 Cor. 11:10) . . . .”21  

David W. Hall, ed., The Divine Right of Church Government, (Dallas, TX: Naphtali Press, [1646] 1995), p. 44.

 http://www.users.on.net/~joeflorence/hc.htm

 

5.4 “The woman, on the other hand, who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head [1 Corinthians 11:5-6 GLP], namely, the man, v.3. She appears in the dress of her superior, and throws off the token of her subjection. She might, with equal decency, cut her hair short, or cut it 

close, which was the custom of the man in that age. This would be in a manner to declare that she was desirous of changing sexes, a manifest affectation of that superiority which God had conferred on the other sex.”22

 22. Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible, (McLean, VA: MacDonald Publishing Co.), VI:561.

 

“She ought to have power on her head, because of the angels [1 Corinthians 11:10]. Power, that is, a veil, the token, not of her having the power or superiority, but being under the power of her husband, subjected to him, and inferior to the other sex.”23

 23. Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible, (McLean, VA: MacDonald Publishing Co.), VI:562.

 

5.5 “[1 Corinthians 11] 2-16. The law of subjection of the woman to the man (2-12), and natural decency itself (13-16), teach that women should be veiled in public religious assemblies.”25

 25. Henry Alford, Alford’s Greek New Testament, (Grand Rapids, MI: Guardian Press, 1976), II:563.

 “The woman ought to have power (the sign of power or subjection; shewn by the context to mean a veil.”27

 27. Henry Alford, Alford’s Greek New Testament, (Grand Rapids, MI: Guardian Press, 1976), II:566.

 5.6 “And since the woman does not naturally belong to public life, if it happen that in the spiritual domain she has to exercise a function which brings her into prominence, she ought to strive the more to put herself out of view by covering herself with the veil, which declares the dependence in which she remains relatively to her husband.”29 

28. Frederick Godet, Commentary on First Corinthians, (Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Publications, 1977), p. 542.

 http://www.users.on.net/~joeflorence/hc.htm

 

5.7 “Two principles, then, are laid down: first, verse 4, that the man should preach (or pray) with head uncovered, because he then stands forth a God’s herald and representative; and to assume at that time the emblem of subordination, a covered head, is a dishonor to the office and God it represents; secondly, verses 5,13, that, on the contrary, for a woman to appear or to perform any public religious function in the Christian assembly, unveiled, is a glaring impropriety. . . . The woman, then, has a 

right to the privileges of public worship and sacraments; she may join audibly in the praises and prayers of the public assembly, where the usages of the body encourage responsive prayer; but she must always do this veiled or covered.”30

 30. Robert Lewis Dabney, Discussions: Evangelical and Theological, (Edinburgh: The Banner of Truth Trust, 1982), II:104

 

5.8 “In putting away the veil, she puts away the badge of her subjection to man (which is her true ‘honor’), and of her connection with Christ, man’s Head. Moreover, the head covering was the emblem of maiden modesty before man (Gen. xxiv: 65), and chastity (Gen. xx: 16). By its unlawful excitement in assemblies is avoided, women not attracting attention. Scripture sanctions not the emancipation of woman from subjection: modesty is her true ornament. Man rules; woman ministers: the respective dress should accord. To uncover the head indicated withdrawal from the husband’s power; whence a suspected wife had her head uncovered by the priest (Num. v. 18). . . . As woman’s hair is given by nature as her covering (v. 15), to cut it off like a man would be palpably indecorous; therefore, to put away the head-covering like a man would be similarly indecorous. It is natural to her to have long hair for her covering: she ought, therefore, to add the other head-covering, to show that she does of her own will that which nature teaches she ought to do, in token of her subjection to man.”31

 

31. A.R. Fausset, A Commentary, Critical, Experimental, and Practical, on the Old and New Testaments, (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1978), III:II:314.

 

5.9 “He proves [in 1 Corinthians 11:6 GLP] that a woman that uncovers her head is one and the same with a woman whose head is shorn or shaven. The proof is that woman’s long hair is intended by ature and understood by all nations to be a symbol of her subjection to the man. . . . This, the Apostle argues, shows the fitness of the veil to be a symbol of the same subjection in the Christian order. In the Church the veil is added to the symbol of long hair, because the subjection which nature has imposed upon the woman receives a special character when it enters into the Christian series of 

subordination’s.”34 

34. Thomas Charles Edwards, A Commentary on the First Epistle to the Corinthians, Minneapolis: Klock & Klock Christian Publishers, 1979), p. 274. 

 

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B. Cultural Practices related to head coverings in historical secular culture:

 

1. 0-100 AD (Paul’s Time)

 

    1.1 Customary for women to wear head coverings in Roman Empire in Paul’s time.  Veils were a sign of class distinction among women.

1. 2. Jewish women wore head-coverings as a sign of their sexual status which conveyed their bride-price or economic worth.  Virgins did not cover their heads, married women always did.  This was important in cases of divorce when a man had to pay back some of the bride-price to the bride’s father and if she could prove her head was uncovered before marriage then she was worth more as compared to if she had been a widow or ‘put away’ by her first husband. 

  

  References for Section B -  Head Coverings in historical secular culture:

 

1.1 Robert H. Gundry (A Survey of the New Testament was published in 1970) 

a. “Paul’s instructions concerning the veiling of women also demand knowledge of prevailing ancient customs. It was proper in the Roman Empire for a respectable woman to veil herself in public. Tarsus, the home city of Paul, was noted for its strict adherence to this rule of propriety. The veil covered the head from view, but not the face. It was at once a symbol of subordination to the male and of the respect which a woman deserves. The Christian women at Corinth, however, were quite naturally following the custom of Greek women, who left their heads uncovered when they worshipped. Paul therefore states that it is disgraceful for Christian women to pray or to prophesy in church services unveiled. On the other hand, Paul goes against the practice of Jewish and Roman men, who prayed with heads covered, by commanding Christian men to pray and prophesy bareheaded as a sign of their authority.”53

 53. Robert H. Gundry, A Survey of the New Testament, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1970), p. 280. 

1.2 Weiss, S.  (2009). Under Cover: Demystification of Women’s Head Covering in Jewish Law.  Nashim: A Journal of Jewish Women’s Studies & Gender Issues.

 

Ritual Child Abuse

Apparently I was involved in ritual child abuse.  It was kinda shocking to learn this.

Disclaimer: I was not personally abused in this ritual, nor did I abuse anyone else.  This is a case of good intentions gone bad, or people caring more about stupid 2 thousand year old dogma more than real live children.  One of the two.

While reading the book Breaking Their Wills, I skimmed through the section on ritual child abuse.  Adults talked about their experiences of exorcisms.  They ranged from embarrassing to life-threatening.   Feeling sick, I jumped ahead to the next bit and was surprised to find experiences that I used to go through several times a year.

One man shared the terror he felt as all the children and teens were called up in his church to be prayed over to receive the gift of tongues.  He described panicking as groups of men closed in around him, touched him, pushed his forehead, yelled unintelligible sayings and would not release him until he too could babble like they did.

I remember those.  I went up voluntarily the first time.  I was 8.  I wanted this special connection to the Holy Spirit.  I was promised that if I could get enough of it, I would be perfect and God could do all sorts of miracles through me.  Sounded good to me.  My daddy came with me and kept me from feeling scared.  I was disappointed that it did not work.  A few years later I went up when all the teens and tweeners were called up to the front of the tabernacle, which happened regularly.

I remember being completely surrounded by dark suits and cut off from my other tween friends.  Two of the men I knew but not very well.  They surrounded me, grabbed hold of my arms and forehead and began praying, yelling, calling out to God loudly.  I became shaky.  My prayers went from coherent ”Please Jesus, come Holy Spirit” to trembly “ple, ja, ra”.  At that point, the men cheered, hugged me, and surrounded the child next closest.

I was elated!  While I was disappointed that my babbles did not sound Hebrew like some of the leaders, full of shaloms and shaddais, and really it did not sound like any language I’d heard, I consoled myself that it was a tongue of angels.  I did not want to stop.  My body was shaky for the next few hours and I kept babbling stuff under my breath, terrified that I would lose it if I stopped and stay a wretched sinner unable to stop sinning.  I was dreaming of walking into hospitals and healing everyone with the Holy Spirit.  I would not experience that feeling again until I ran a race around town in gym class.  I won, but I threw up immediately afterwards.  The feeling of pushing myself until I had nothing left (literally) and winning was exhilarating.

Of course, I wanted this intense experience.  I knew that others did not.  The man in the book said that he would mumble the alphabet or a nursery rhyme just to get the men to let him go back to his seat.   I knew some of my friends did the same.  We were called up regularly for this at larger church gatherings.  All teens were expected to go up, even if they had already proved able to speak in tongues.   I did not mind.  I would huddle off to the side with some friends as the overpowering group emotions bombarded us.  This was one of the few times I could let myself cry and I found it really cathartic.

What I did dread was when all the teens, and sometimes even young children, were called up to the front to prophesy.  Only after we prophesied into the microphone in front of hundreds of people were we allowed to sit back down.  If we couldn’t produce a prophesy right away, we were surrounded by the same group of men who would grab our arms, push our foreheads, and wail unto the Lord for us.  No one was allowed to leave before prophesying.  And if a young girl did not have her head covered, one of the men would put his hand on her head in lieu of one.  They usually put hands on heads anyways, but it was seen as further proof of the necessity for females to cover their heads since it tended to speed things up.   I doubt they admitted it sped things up for the males too.

I never could prophesy.  I was all too aware that the words in my head were my own and controlled by myself.  I could think of lots of things to say that fit with the theme of everything else, but it was too dishonest for me to pass of these thoughts as being only of God.  It never occurred to me that the other people just said what they were thinking anyways.   When I knew these things were coming, I would try and hide in the bathroom or ask thedeaf kitchen workers if I could help them.

On occasion, I got caught and ended up at the front.  I spent the time anxious and worried.  No bolt from God ever came.  Only my own thoughts.  Humiliated, feeling like a failure, but mostly dreading misleading anyone by saying something I thought and passing it off as God, I would be one of the last ones left.  At that point, I would whisper my favourite verse about not being afraid because God is always with us and slink back into the crowd.

It never occurred to me that these practices could be called ritual child abuse.  I guess I was lucky in some ways that I sincerely wanted to prophesy and speak in tongues.  The kids who were skeptical, uninterested, or terrified of public speaking must have had the worst time.

Thank god my kids won’t have to go through this.  I’m free to mess them up in other ways :p